Tantric sex is not your average experience of lovemaking. It’s a lot more than a nice raga as background music, some scented candles, some special oils, and then a meet between the sheets. In tantric sex, men and women breathe together. The prime tantric sexual position, Yab Yum, is performed sitting up and is powerfully hypnotic. Men have orgasms but they don’t ejaculate. Women have orgasms, and they do ejaculate (a very sacred thing in tantra).
In tantra, everybody’s having orgasms, but the point is not the orgasms. The point is profound intimacy- at least on a personal level- and the possibility of union with the divine that intense sexual ecstasy can sometimes provide.
If all these tantric sexual notions seem a bit heady for you, then relax. You can experience many of the benefits of tantric sex without joining a cult.
The essence of tantra practices lies in the fact that couples can learn to become multi-orgasmic together. Couples can learn to breath together as they move their bodies together. They can learn to rhythmically bring each other to an ecstatic peak without pushing the men over into involuntary ejaculation. Exercising the PC muscles in both men and women (doing Kegels) is crucial to this.
These tantric sexual practices are similar to modern western sexual practices known as plateauing and peaking, in which breathing and concentration, as well as some PC muscle control, are used to repeatedly bring both partners to climax without ejaculating- at least for the first few times. This is a learnable skill. Not only that, it can be aided by hypnosis.